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What Should I Do If My Loved One Needs Care Resides With Me?

March 21, 2022Filed Under: Long Term Care, Senior Health and Wellness

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Aging in place continues to gain popularity, but what to do when a loved one is having difficulty living safely at home is a common problem. Troublesome signs like a dirty home in poor repair, unpaid bills, piles of mail, food out of date or spoiled in the kitchen, poor personal hygiene, and trouble managing medications are all warning signs that your senior is struggling. When visiting, you may notice a loss of weight, disoriented behavior, or lonely and depressive behaviors. When these signs reveal themselves to you, it is time for your older relative to move in with you or into some senior living community where the situation is safer.

Even before the pandemic, polls began showing a shift to the living trend of a century ago, when most seniors lived with their adult children in a multi-generational house. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) reports that older parents are moving in with their adult children and comprising a larger component of shared living than a generation ago. AARP states, “Today, 14 percent of adults living in someone else’s household are a parent of the household head, up from 7 percent in 1995.” And with many Americans now working from home, keeping a watchful eye over a parent is easier than ever.

If you consider moving your loved one into your home, there are several things to consider before making a move. For example, you might think the idea is fantastic, but how will it affect other current household members, spouses, or children? Does everyone get along, or will you be importing conflict? Are your lifestyles compatible regarding quiet hours, entertaining guests? Is smoking a habit of someone that needs consideration? Is your home big enough, or will someone have to give up their room?

Is your home suitable for the needs of your loved one? Can they be housed on a single floor without having to use stairs? Can your parent bring their familiar belongings and furniture with them? Perhaps it is feasible to create a “mother-in-law” apartment with a separate entrance or invest in a backyard cottage, the so-called granny pod. If they reside in your active home, what modifications can you make to create a safer environment? Things like night lights, the removal of area rugs, or adding grab bars in the shower or an additional handrail on the stairs can make big safety differences.

Who will be tasked to help your parent? The fact that your parent now lives with you should not mean you are at their service all of the time. Many well-meaning adult children make this mistake. At the outset of living together, a parent is usually fairly self-sufficient. Still, in time they will require more, and if you do not begin your living experiment employing outside help, you will fall into a trap where your time is no longer your own. Share tasks with other family members and make them do their part. Find local senior support services and check out professional in-home care to ensure your loved one becomes accustomed to others providing support to them.

If not in your home, where will your loved one go? Living in a family multi-generational home isn’t for everyone. Your parent might prefer “shared-living” adults living under the same roof but not romantically involved, a sort of roommate experience. Or perhaps a retirement community with defined living stages, from independent to assisted, and full-time care. Many families find living together can save money but not necessarily sanity and look to house their parents out of direct living contact. Talk it out as a family. Even if the conversation is difficult to have, it is better than responding to a catastrophic fall or illness, forcing a change of housing for your parent.

Find out how your aging loved one feels about the next step when they will no longer be able to live alone. Your parent’s thoughts may surprise you. It can help to speak with an elder attorney to address issues that invariably present themselves. If your parent sells their home, how will they handle the profit? Should you want a monthly living expense contribution? Can you claim your parent as a dependent on your tax return? Your parent may no longer have to pay bills but may have other assets and policies to manage; who will handle asset management and premium payments? Goodwill goes a long way to a successful living arrangement but so does preparedness. Having pre-set a structure to address issues will allow you to focus on enjoying your time with your loved one.

If you have questions or would like to discuss your personal situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Please contact our Cincinnati office by calling us at 513-771-2444 with any questions.

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Easing Isolation for Seniors While Maintaining Social Distance

January 24, 2022Filed Under: Senior Health and Wellness, Senior Living

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Our ability to socialize has been severely impacted by medically suggested protocols for social distancing and government mandates restricting large gatherings to slow down the spread of the coronavirus. This isolation holds especially true for those seniors who live alone or in long-term health care facilities. Human beings are, by nature, designed for close contact and social interaction. Maintaining human connection, whether it be family or casual acquaintances, can help boost immunity, combat anxiety and stress, and can even lower health risks that are exacerbated by stress like heart attacks and hypertension.

The Association of Health Care Journalists reports that it is critical for older adults’ well-being to maintain social ties. Those seniors who experience loneliness and social isolation are more likely to develop dementia, more likely to fall, have an increase in hospital readmissions, and an increase in mortality. Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, health care facilities and hospitals across the country have put a pause on in-person visitation. This separation will protect the most vulnerable populations, such as older adults and those individuals with chronic health conditions.

To help your loved ones in a facility or living on their own during this challenging time of COVID-19 Right at Home, a leader in the in-home senior care industry, has some ideas to stay connected to those you love who are isolated during this outbreak.

  • Set up phone dates. Scheduling a regular call at a prescribed time and date brings you closer through conversation and also gives a senior something to look forward to experiencing. Do not over-promise. It is better to have two calls a week that you always attend rather than to miss a promised chat session because you overscheduled your time.
  • Write letters to each other. Getting postal mail is fun for all ages, especially when it is a letter, filled with memories of shared times. Include self-addressed stamped envelopes back and forth to encourage continuing the exchange. Lonely seniors will usually re-read these notes and treasure them.
  • Set up chatty technology. Whether it’s a tablet, home device, or smartphone, you can use your digital device to use apps like Facebook Messenger, Alexa, FaceTime, Skype, and more to videoconference with your senior. If your senior needs some technical help, most health care workers will be able to help get them started as you will not be permitted to be onsite.
  • Virtually watch movies together. If you and your senior have a desktop computer or laptop that uses the Chrome browser, Netflix Party will synchronize video playback and add group chat capability to your chosen show or movie. It’s like having a long-distance movie night or tv watching party.
  • Attend online events and activities. Participating online is a big deal when faced with isolation. There are thousands of people online who have similar interests as you. com is a free membership group that has 24 separate categories, like dance, language, and culture, photography, family, tech, health and wellness, music, and more. All of these categories host multiple online events in which your senior can participate.
  • Attend virtual religious services. Faith is so important right now, especially for some seniors. If your loved one has a worship service they used to attend, see if they are now providing their services online. Many houses of worship have Facebook pages where a service is a click away. It will lift your senior’s spirits immensely to see and listen to their familiar pastor, rabbi, or priest.
  • Make use of the public library online. More than ever, libraries are offering their services for things like movies, e-books, and audiobooks.
  • Stay physically active. Log into a virtual exercise class online. Most of the classes are free, and they are found everywhere on YouTube. Just be sure to search for an exercise class that is appropriate for your age and physical abilities. As with any new exercise regime, always consult your doctor first.
  • Get outdoors, even for 5 minutes. If at all possible to do safely, step outside on the porch, patio, or balcony and encourage your loved one to do the same. Take in some sunshine and fresh air, take a deep breath and see the bigger picture of life.

Prolonged loneliness can bring about depression and even dementia. However, social distancing does not have to bring about social disconnection. Employ some of these ideas in the world of your senior to protect them from isolation during this pandemic. It is crucial to your loved one’s wellbeing to have direction and routine, hope, and human connection.

We are also using video technology for our meetings so we can continue to help with the planning needs of our community. If you have questions about what you read or would like to discuss planning for you or a loved one, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Please contact our Cincinnati office by calling us at 513-771-2444 with any questions. We would be honored to help.

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How to Choose a Life-Saving Medical Alert Systems

January 10, 2022Filed Under: Senior Health and Wellness

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Envision your parent is just being released from a long stay at the hospital. The care providers assure you that your parent will be fine returning home, but you still worry. How can you make sure your parent is safe at home?

A medical alert system is a device that can connect the user with help when activated, either at the press of a button or if a fall is detected. These devices can be life-saving in case of emergency and can give seniors independence, and their loved ones peace of mind. One might assume that a smartphone or digital assistant is sufficient, but unlike cell phones, medical alert systems stay on your body so that you always have access to it, and unlike Alexa and Google home, medical alerts can call 911. So if you do decide to buy a medical alert system, you’re going to want to choose a quality system; since you rely on them in times of emergency, you want to know it will work. But how do you choose?

Consumer Reports suggests answering three questions before choosing a medical system. The first is, do you want a home-based or mobile system? The answer depends on your lifestyle and preferences. The second question is, should your system be monitored or not? Consumer Reports only recommends monitored systems, which means that the call button connects you with someone at a 24/7 dispatching center, rather than automatically dialing a friend or family member from a programmed emergency call list. And finally, should you add a fall-detection feature? It’s a relatively inexpensive add-on ($15 or under per month), but the technology may not be perfect; it may register something as a fall that isn’t, such as stumbling or dropping your phone.

With these choices in mind, one might look at the systems Consumer Reports recommends, or those on The Senior List has a Recommended list. The Senior List makes its recommendations based on four criteria: (1) works as advertised or better, (2) customer service, (3) pricing, and (4) easy to cancel contracts. For 2020, their top 9 medical alert systems were Bay Alarm Medical, MobileHelp, Medical Guardian, Philips Lifeline, LifeFone, LifeStation, ResponseNow, QMedic, and Alert1. Consumer Reports also recommends Bay Alarm, LifeStation, Medical Guardian, MobileHelp, and Philips Lifeline, but they also recommend GreatCall Lively Mobile, Life Alert, Medical Alert, and Rescue Alert.

Bay Alarm is ranked best overall, at $19.95-$29.95 monthly cost (the lowest on this list!) and no equipment fees, with landline and cellular in-home options, a mobile option with 4G LTE coverage, and an in-car medical alert, among other features. The equipment is easy to install and its range of products are appropriate for various situations without being overwhelming. They don’t require long-term contracts, and they allow you to try it for 30-days risk-free.

MobileHelp is also consistently high quality, in terms of both equipment and customer service. They offer cellular in-home medical alert systems, mobile and GPS systems, and even jewelry or smartwatches. They offer extras like fall detection, medication reminders, and vital sign monitoring. Costs start at $19.95 monthly (with a one-time $49.95 fee for the in-home system, unless you choose an annual plan, in which case that fee is waived). They also have a deal to buy two systems, which is good for couples. They don’t require long-term contracts, and they offer flexible pricing plans.

Finally, before making your purchase, check return policies carefully, especially if you have hearing loss. Read more about The Senior List’s top medical alert systems, including the Medical Guardian, Philips Lifeline, LifeFone, LifeStation, ResponseNow, QMedic, and Alert1, here. Consumer Reports also covered medical alert systems, available here.

If you or a loved one is living at home with care, it is important to consult with an elder law professional to make sure a proper plan is in place that covers your loved one’s care needs and financial needs. We help families plan for the possibility of a loved one needing significant care and would be happy to talk to you about your particular situation. Please contact our Cincinnati office by calling us at 513-771-2444 with any questions.

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Family Caregivers Who Thrive

April 26, 2021Filed Under: Elder Law, Senior Health and Wellness

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Around 17 percent of the US population is a family caregiver, and most are losing sleep, worrying, losing income, struggling to balance caregiving tasks with their workload and other family responsibilities. These 53 million caregivers are often experiencing ill health of their own and putting their well being at a lesser priority to their family loved one. The coronavirus pandemic further complicates matters as an October 2020 poll from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research reveals that family caregivers provide 36 percent more care than one year ago due to the virus. Many family caregivers are exhausted, keeping their older loved ones safe and socially connected, often while working from home and supervising children during home school days. To be good to others, you must first be good to yourself. Making self-care a top priority allows you to be a more effective caregiver to your loved one. Here are ten strategies to implement today to ease family caregiver burnout.

Relentlessly add some “me time” into your schedule. There is time to enjoy life, visit (even if virtually) friends, read an enjoyable book, do some artwork, practice meditation, or just lay down and relax. Whatever it is that brings you joy and peace of mind (and it can be changeable!), put it in your schedule routinely.

Prioritize your healthcare. You cannot be an effective caregiver if you are unwell. It is a trap to spend all of your time managing your loved family member’s doctor appointments and medication while forgoing yours. When was your last checkup? Are you experiencing new symptoms under the stress of caregiving that you are not sharing with your doctor? Make those appointments for your well being today.

Eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise. Neglecting the very basics of a healthy lifestyle encourages health problems to present themselves in you. A healthy diet coupled with exercise will bring balance to your well-being, and from there, all things become possible. Ditch the fast food, drop the daily glass of alcohol, and practice a healthier lifestyle.

Connect with other caregivers. It is so helpful to address your caregiving frustrations out loud to others in a similar situation. You might find they experience similar feelings to your own. It is not a failure on a caregiver’s part to have these feelings. You are human and, as such, have frailties. Never try to be invincible. If you feel you need more help than this, seek professional counseling. A counselor can help you sort through the complexity of your situation and feelings, providing tools to navigate family caregiving’s complex emotions. Select a therapist who specializes in helping those who are caregivers and the associated dynamics.

Learn more about your loved one’s health condition to better prepare for what lies ahead. You can’t know the future, but a medical prognosis and additional research can go a long way to addressing uncertainty that increases stress levels. Understanding possible future scenarios will let you plan and reduce the number of surprises that can catch you off guard.

Learn to set boundaries and don’t let old family dynamics dominate today. As your aging loved one requires more care, your downtime can become non-existent. Stay true to your schedule and your needs. If your loved one requires more help, it is time to call in other family members for financial or hands-on assistance or hire a service to provide additional care. Also, do not fall into child mode and allow your parent to push your buttons as they may have in earlier years. Stay in the present and focus on the task at hand. If you find it hard to separate then and now behaviors with your parent, seek support groups or find a counselor to learn ways to combat falling into old patterns.

Get help and get it sooner than later. It is not your destiny to go through this alone. Talk to your family or your doctor to strategize about ways to reduce your workload and stress. Bring in professional care, even if just a couple of times a week for some relief. Ask for help and then accept it! Your family members may be willing to help financially and spend time remotely with your loved one while you take a well-deserved break. When someone steps in to help, do not hover or micro-manage the situation. Walk away and clear your head. The world will spin without you being the family caregiver for a few hours or even a few days. Do not delay. Take good care of yourself to be your best for others.

Make sure you have a plan. If something should happen to your health, have you put into writing who should make decisions for you, who should manage your affairs, and what your wishes are regarding your care? If not, the time couldn’t be better. We can help, and would welcome the opportunity to make sure your wishes are properly documented.

If you have questions or would like to discuss your personal situation, please don’t hesitate to contact us at 513-771-2444.

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Olivia K. Smith, Attorney at Law
Cornetet, Meyer, Rush & Stapleton Co., L.P.A.
123 Boggs Lane,
Cincinnati, Ohio 45246
Tel: (513) 771-2444
Fax: (877) 483-2119
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Olivia K. Smith, Attorney at Law
Cornetet, Meyer, Rush & Stapleton
123 Boggs Lane
Cincinnati, OH 45246
Phone: 513-771-2444
Fax: 877-483-2119
oksmith@cmrs-law.com

Family Law Attorney Olivia K. Smith, LLC represent clients in Cincinnati, Anderson Township, Batavia, Loveland, Mason, Milford and other communities in Hamilton County, Clermont County, Butler County and Warren County.

Disclaimer: The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. I invite you to contact me and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting me does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to me until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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