Long Term Care

A Guide for Parent Caregiving

June 21, 2021Filed Under: Estate Planning, Long Term Care

Something that affects all of us and our families is aging. It can be challenging for adult children to imagine their parents as seniors and to understand and respond to the reality that each parent will age differently. Even if you are in the fortunate circumstance where your aging parents can go it alone for a long time there will come a day when assistance or long term care will be needed. There are things to consider as you help your parents live their best possible aging scenario. Managing their welfare takes time, research, and planning.

Your parents and their abilities to remain independent are most easily defined by activities of daily living and instrumental activities of daily living (ADLs and IADLs). Activities of daily living address daily functional mobility like getting in and out of bed or a chair, self-feeding, bathing and personal hygiene, the ability to use the toilet, and the ability to get dressed. These are essential daily living requirements that promote dignity and physical as well as emotional well- being for your elderly parents. If your parents are having difficulty managing these ADLs, it is an appropriate time to find help for them whether it is you or another qualified caregiver.

IADLs include all ADL activities and more. The additions are grocery shopping and cooking, medication management, laundry, and other housework, bill paying and finance management, using a telephone, and driving or using public transportation. Recognizing your parent’s limitations in any of these categories is a sign that you need to develop a care plan that provides appropriate assistance. The degree of change or sometimes multiple changes is an indication that staying at home may no longer be appropriate and safe for your parent. If you require assistance in determining suitable care needs, you can set up a comprehensive geriatric assessment by a medical professional. Take an honest look at the stage of life your parent is experiencing and then find the support and help they require.

Your aging parents’ geographical location is critical to consider as a family. Families are fortunate when one adult child lives nearby and can ensure their parent’s well-being. Video chat either online or through a phone application is one way to daily check on a parent. A friend may live close by and can do wellness checks and provide information about behavioral or health changes. If none of these options are viable, it may be time to discuss the idea of your parent(s) downsizing into another more supportive location and living arrangement.

Having this discussion is best before a parent’s adverse health event. Making residential changes without a previous plan in place can negatively impact on the parent, especially when experiencing a health care crisis. When aging at home cannot be appropriately managed, it is time to consider the alternatives. These alternatives may include independent living communities, assisted living communities, nursing homes, or living with a trustworthy and capable relative or family member.

All of these assessments and changes in your parents’ lives impact their financial outlook. Making necessary residential changes can often be very costly, and your parent may need additional financial support from government or community programs to offset the difference in expenses. It is critical to take advantage of all possible financial help. As an adult child, you may have to begin managing their finances and retirement funds more actively. There are various federal, state, and non-profit groups that provide free tax assistance for seniors.

Some of the better organizations to help you navigate what is available are online and include Benefits.gov, Area Agency on Aging, and Benefitscheckup.org. These groups can help you assess the best strategies for housing, healthcare, financial assistance, legal aid, transportation, in-home services, prescription drugs, energy and utility support, and nutrition. BenefitsCheckUp is part of the National Council on Aging and is considered the nation’s most comprehensive online service for seniors with limited income and resources. The information available canvases all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

Caring for your aging parents should not be the job of one family member. The commitment should not be a burden, and responsibilities should be shared. Look for caregiver support organizations and forums as well as involving all family members. Everyone should do their part. The goal is to find the best blend of options and resources to allow your parents to age happily and well. Your parents’ health changes require that programs and opportunities change too. Caring for your aging parent is a dynamic process that must be retooled as their needs change.

We help families who are trying to navigate the maze of long term care either for themselves or for an aging parent. If you’d like to discuss your particular situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Please contact our Cincinnati office by calling us at 513-771-2444 with any questions.

Your Parent May Need More than Assisted Living

June 14, 2021Filed Under: Long Term Care

Jerry’s mother Jane decided, on her own, that it was time to move into an assisted-living facility. Jane’s arthritis had worsened to the point where she couldn’t dress herself, she struggled to get in and out of the shower, and she was lonely living by herself.

Jane did very well at her new place. The social activities helped her mood, the staff was available to help her bathe and to monitor her medication for her, and she appreciated not having to cook any more.

However, over time Jane showed signs of dementia. The facility she had moved to was simply not set up to meet her needs. Dementia patients can become disoriented, wander away into danger or exposure, or become agitated or aggressive. Dementia is a particularly difficult disease to care for, as the right balance must be struck between sufferers’ need for social contact and mobility on the one hand, and safety for themselves and others on the other hand.

There are facilities that provide “memory care” services, with locked doors to prevent wandering, but these are usually more expensive and Jane’s wasn’t one of them. If the facility doesn’t have staff trained in how to “talk down” and reassure an agitated or aggressive resident, staff may over-rely on psychotropic medication. But over-medicated patients are exposed to increased risk for strokes, falls, and confusion. Staffing and training regulations vary widely across the states, and often the staff-resident ratios are left to the facilities to determine. For-profit facilities must balance staffing expenses with attention to their bottom line. The problem is particularly acute in rural areas, where there are fewer facilities available.

It’s particularly important, then, that residents’ family-members keep tabs on the facility’s environment and treatment of residents. Here are questions to look out for:

Is the facility is clean, sanitary, and in good repair?
What is the ratio between staff and resident?
What training does the staff get? What is the staff turn-over rate?
Are residents medically assessed at least once a year?
Are the hot-water temperature controls kept at a safe and effective level?
Are the following kept away from residents: Alcohol, cigarettes, and toxic cleaning supplies and disinfectants?
Are medications kept in a safe, locked place that is not accessible to anybody other than employees responsible for the supervision of the medication?
Is safe storage provided for knives, matches, firearms, tools, and any other items that could constitute a danger?
Are there provisions in place to protect life and property against fire and panic?

With careful monitoring, assisted-living facilities may provide a safe environment – but monitoring can also flag when the environment is no longer safe enough.

We help families find, access and pay for long-term care. I If you’d like to discuss your particular situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Please contact our Cincinnati office by calling us at 513-771-2444 with any questions.

The Stresses of a Spouse Becoming The Main Caregiver

January 18, 2021Filed Under: Elder Law, Long Term Care

Becoming the main caregiver for a seriously ill spouse can trigger relationship challenges. In the process of change, you can lose your best friend, your love, and your future as you both had imagined it. Promises will change from words spoken in oath on your wedding day to deeds of care in your mostly, but not exclusively, older years. The new caregiver morphs from a loving spouse into their new role, which is an entirely different sort of relationship of primary service. In more tragic cases, the caregiver can become distant to the marital bond, struggling with feelings of loss, fear, anger, resentment, or misunderstanding.

It’s a situation no spouse looks forward to on either side of the equation. A loving couple does not look forward to the day when they either must watch and tend to the mortal decline of their spouse or, conversely, be the spouse who feels wracked with guilt feelings knowing their health problems are placing a tremendous caregiving burden on their spouse. No matter the desire to avoid the experience, very few married couples will elude the complication that serious illness brings to their shared lives. Sadly, the needs of the caregiving spouse are often overlooked at a time when they need renewed strength to support their partner in new ways.

The caregiving pressures exerted on a spouse are significant. According to an analysis of 168 studies, while the caregiving spouse will protect their mate, they report more symptoms of depression, lower levels of psychological well-being, and more significant physical and financial burdens. To cope with the changes presents challenges, and sadly, the longer you have been married, the more difficult the process of rewriting the relationship’s rules and expectations become. Early on in the illness diagnosis, spouses are unclear as to how to handle the short-circuit in communication and productively process their feelings.

Many new spousal caregivers will feel the complications of isolation. Family members and close friends may not visit, not help, or even ignore the couple struggling to create new behavioral norms. Health Affairs reports that 55 percent of older spouses experience their end of life caregiving years without help from children, other family members, or even paid home health aides. The entirely new sort of relationship that becomes forged between husband and wife becomes defined by illness and lost emotional connections.

The need then becomes the focus on what to do to improve the situation. The first is the caregiving spouse needs an accurate understanding of the condition, treatment, prognosis, and needs of their ill spouse, whether they are diagnosed with dementia, cancer, heart failure, kidney dysfunction, or another serious illness. The information needs to come directly from attending physicians and health care providers. Caregivers need to participate in medical appointments and become an active participant in identifying health and wellness issues and potential fixes. Medical recommendations need to be prioritized so that the caregiver can be a positive, encouraging reinforcement rather than a nagging, stress-inducing reminder that can trigger frustrations on both sides.

If family and friends are willing to help lighten the load, it is imperative to accept help. Housekeeping, erranding, providing casseroles, transportation, visiting, anything that can reduce your workload as a caregiver is essential to accept graciously. Review your insurance plans as many give some level of coverage of home nursing services, occupational, and physical therapy. These services can improve your partner’s abilities and safety in your home.

Share as much time as reasonable with your spouse, listen to their thoughts, and spend time in quiet reflection. Follow routines that are established patterns in your life together. A Friday movie night at home with popcorn, walking the dog, or sharing morning coffee as a continued routine helps to keep a sense of continuity in the face of the unknown.

Recognize that you are not alone in your struggle. Authors Barbara Kivowitz and Roanne Weisman have written about their journeys as the caregiving spouse of a seriously ill mate in a book entitled Love in the Time of Chronic Illness: How to Fight the Sickness – Not Each Other. The most poignant recommendation describes shifting the notion of caregiving from a set of daily responsibilities to an act of expressing compassion. Kivowitz encourages couples to “Measure success by how well you connect, love and feel loved.” Don’t let a serious illness shake the foundation of your marriage. Identify your roles and set structure to address the issues at hand, and in the face of the unknown, you both will be better for it.

If you have questions or would like to discuss your personal situation, please don’t hesitate to contact us at 513-771-2444.

Feelings of Neglect due to Isolation Increasing in Elder Americans

December 14, 2020Filed Under: Elder Law, Long Term Care, Senior Health and Wellness

Our elder population is experiencing isolation from their family and extended community interaction, because of the coronavirus, increasing the likelihood of neglect. With the flu season fast on approach this isolation and the possibility of a resurgence of COVID-19, older Americans will likely continue living 2020 in mostly solitary circumstances. Rising instances of loneliness can give way to clinical depression and foster feelings of hopelessness.

Common Signs of Self-Neglect

Some of the common signs that an older adult is self-neglecting include changes in how they communicate and a lack of interest in family or community events. A loved one who always presented themselves in a put-together manner may suddenly stop bothering to dress for the day, or perhaps they have gained or lost a startling amount of weight. A once tidy home may now be piled high with unopened mail and heaps of garbage. They may stop or have difficulty managing their medications. Their demeanor and mood may change, and often there is the incidence of a fall.

ASA

Neglect is often a person depriving themselves of necessary care, whether it be adequate nutrition and hydration, medical care, hygiene, and a suitable living environment. In some instances, neglect may be an extension of diminished capacity of physical or mental ability to provide self-care. In some cases, negligence can be the precursor to abuse by an active or passive negligent caregiver. As reported by the American Society on Aging (ASA) outside of financial abuse, the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers identifies self-neglect as the more commonly encountered situation than physical or sexual abuse or neglect by others.

Each state has a mandatory reporting law requiring certain people to provide information about suspected abuse to the proper authorities. Typically, these people are nurses and doctors, as well as wellness check programs through CMS services. Some states require any person who suspects elder abuse to report the situation. Know your state law for reporting and be mindful that your elder loved one is isolated from medical professional groups who report signs of neglect.

What to Do if you Are Suspecting Elderly Abuse

If you have not already implemented virtual strategies to combat loneliness for your older adult, do so immediately. There are many communication, safety, health, and entertainment apps designed specifically with seniors in mind. If your loved one cannot manage a smartphone, use a larger tablet device. If that is unachievable, get a smart speaker where voice communication can provide the sorts of contact options, safety, and activity your senior needs.

Contact your loved one routinely. Implement fall detectors and set up video surveillance to identify any problems. Be sure not to create an overly invasive system allowing your senior some degree of privacy to protect their dignity. Always use firewalls, passwords, and other security options to address privacy concerns.

Take advantage of community programs such as Meals on Wheels or identify programs that check-in on independent living older adults or high-risk households. If they are so inclined, set up the technology for your family member to participate in the many religious services currently being conducted live on Facebook. Connect with their neighbors or local friends to request they occasionally check in on your family member.

AARP recommends whatever the legal obligation in your state to report any sign of elder neglect or abuse. If you believe the person may be in imminent danger, call 911 immediately. If not, address the concern with the person directly or with their caregiver or family member. Remember, you may be misinterpreting the situation. After you have raised your concerns, listen carefully to the other person’s point of view. There may be a quick fix for a small problem, or it could be something more profound. Act deliberately but with compassion. If you meet with resistance to change but still believe help is needed, learn how you can report your concern. Your local police department may have an Elder Affairs unit. Nationally, you can contact support through a public service of the US Administration on Aging called the Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116), connecting you with local protective service agencies.

If you believe your loved one can no longer manage their health, safety, and wellness needs, we can help by providing advice on legal options to protect your loved one. We would be honored to talk with you.

If you’d like to discuss your particular situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Please contact our Cincinnati office by calling us at 513-771-2444 with any questions.

A Guide for Parent Caregiving

Your Parent May Need More than Assisted Living

The Stresses of a Spouse Becoming The Main Caregiver

Feelings of Neglect due to Isolation Increasing in Elder Americans

Common Signs of Self-Neglect

What to Do if you Are Suspecting Elderly Abuse

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